Todd & Tammy ~ Ukrainian Adoption

Sunday, November 30, 2008

2008-11-30T19:24:00.003-05:00

Things did not work out. While there could be a lot to say, at this point, that is about all we feel comfortable sharing on the Internet. We will see you all next week sometime...we would like to ask that you not be offended if we do not return phone calls or emails for, oh....a few weeks! :) OK...maybe not that long, but it may not be right when you call or email. We appreciate you being understanding of this during this time. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support.

Monday, November 24, 2008

2008-11-24T10:53:00.002-05:00

Late on Saturday night around 11:00 P.M., the water was cut off in our apartment. It stayed off for 24 hours!! We had been warned about this but hoped it would not happen. Unfortunately, we were almost out of drinking water and the ground was covered with snow on Sunday morning. We walked to a nearby store (not the grocery store we usually go to) and got water. It even got to the point on Sunday evening that we had to go outside our apartment and collect snow to melt so that we could use the toilet! That was a sight to see us, three, out there getting the snow up in kitchen pans. It has been very interesting and very cold over the last few days. The snow actually started on Saturday and continued on through Sunday. A man in the apartment building that speaks some English told us the water could be off for a few hours to a few days. We were thankful it was only 24 hours.

The time of our appointment on Wednesday with the SDA is 4:00 (so that is 9:00 AM GA time.) The days are starting to run together but not running fast enough! It seems strange not to be planning for Thanksgiving, but they do not have it here, of course. We will try to track down something special to eat for that day, anyway. We know everyone is busy getting ready for Thanksgiving, but we'd love to hear from any and all of you!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

2008-11-22T09:27:00.002-05:00

Woke up to snow on the ground this morning....changed to rain mid-morning...back to snow flurries all day long. We left the apartment later today than usual and went to our new favorite hangout...food is good (not quite as good as the bakery) and it has wi-fi...that is the best part. Thursday when we came here, I ordered hot chocolate. It was written that way on the menu. That was taken very literally...talk about lost in translation. I received chocolate that was hot but way too thick to drink. It was like chocolate fondue. We laughed about that. Tonight I ordered cocoa and it is like our hot chocolate. Yes, these are the highlights of our days, now! We are even glad that Jackie has dishes to wash ~ ha! ha!

Some pics

2008-11-20T08:20:00.004-05:00

We have put some pictures on this entry, and we also went back to a few other entries and put some other pictures. So, be sure to scroll down and see some of them. We will have more in the future. We have discovered another coffee house very close to our apartment that has wi-fi, so we will be able to put more pictures on in the next few days.

We walked at an open market one day that was located in front of the State Department of Adoption. The vendor motioned to us to put on these hats to take a picture. He was very friendly to us and spoke a little English, too. We are looking very Ukrainian!

We walked behind our apartment and discovered these two churches. The pinkish one is a monastery that has nuns living there. The other one is just a really big church that was being renovated.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

2008-11-20T05:18:00.007-05:00

Things are going slowly for us. We are now going for our third and last appointment on November 26. We really had a hard decision as to whether or not to stay for this appointment. We are a bit discouraged but want to try to go to the last appointment to see if anything will work out for us. You may certainly read between the lines on this

particular entry. However, we are trying to stay positive.

We are going to try to put some pictures of our trip onto the blog this afternoon if we can figure it out. Don't get your hopes up...it may take a few days for us to get it done. We are continuing to have interesting experiences and look forward to telling you about them.

At our favorite bakery, we had met a man that spoke English and always smiled and made us feel welcome. On Monday, we were purchasing something (again!) and he asked us if we were Christians. We assumed he must have seen us saying the blessing at the meal we ate there on Monday. We said yes. He said he was, too. He also told us he was Baptist. We couldn't believe it. He goes to a Baptist church somewhere...we don't know where yet, but hopefully we will find it before we leave. Tammy reeeeallllyy needs to go to church soon as she is about to spaz out!

Just to clarify...we did say that the people on the streets don't look at each other and don't smile. However, we have met quite a few people that have been friendly and helpful...we have our favorite cashier at the grocery store that always smiles and is patient...we met a customer at the grocery store that helped us at the checkout another time, and actually waited to be sure Todd could pay and that everything went well...the coat check lady at the library is very sweet and friendly to us, and she just talks on and on in Ukrainian to us...so funny (we use the library and the PO to access the Internet).....also at the bakery we have had the same waitress and she has been friendly and patient...we got a picture of her and the man with us...they were all waving to us and saying goodbye as we left...they would fit in well with southern hospitality...the ladies at the library have been very friendly and nice, too. Our translator has been wonderful and gone out of her way to do many things for us.

One last thing...we have had some really good food...pizza is good, McDonald's has been like at home, the meals at the bakery are hot and good, and several other things have been really good, especially the meals that Jackie has been whipping up for us!! We did have one surprising meal at Independence Square one day...the menu was not in English, only Ukrainian...a customer nearby realized that we and the waiter needed help communicating so she helped us order. She told us the items were toast with meat, vegetables (tomato, lettuce), or just cheese. We figured the cheese one would be the least harmful. It wasn't toast with cheese (we thought grilled cheese or something like that)...it was three slices of plain, old white bread with a little bit of cheese and pickles that created a 1/2 of a sandwich. Thank goodness it was only 1/2 ....we couldn't have eaten any more of it. That was so funny to us.

It snowed on Wednesday, 11/19. We had walked to the grocery store and came out and it snowed on us the whole way to the apartment. Keep praying that the last appointment may be the one where we are able to find a child. This is a bit complicated and private, so that is about all we can share right now.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

2008-11-15T08:49:00.002-05:00

Good News! We received word late Friday evening that our next appointment is Tuesday, November 18 at 4:00 P.M. Thank you, God!!! This is a great relief that it is so early in this upcoming week. This will be about 9:00 A.M. in GA. So please keep the prayers going for this important time.We will probably leave on Wednesday night or Thursday sometime to go to the orphanage, but we don't know which one until after the appointment.

Thank you to everyone for the cards you sent. We have been reading them and rereading them. They are very encouraging and thoughtful. We appreciate the cards!!

Yesterday we walked around town and found the Circus building. We did not go in. It rained (sprinkled) today (Sat.) and this is the real first rain we have had. Plus it is a bit colder today.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

2008-11-13T07:45:00.003-05:00

Wednesday, November 12: Walked all over Kiev...we walked to Independence Square which was very pretty with a few statues and very large buildings....we went to the Underground Mall and it was huge....just like American malls with quite a few American stores (New Balance, Hallmark) and some that were like American stores, like Women's Secret instead of Victoria's Secret. Many stores were very high end and expensive for the fashion-able ladies!! There was a McDonald's underground and above ground...there was a regular food court in the underground mall. We are learning our way around and getting a bit more adventurous, going down a few side streets. We walked til our legs and feet were aching...we don't know how far but we walked over 3 hours, but at least we were not in high-heeled boots. We stopped by a small grocery store to get a jug of water but it was closed. So we had to walk all the way down to the big grocery store. That was even more tiring. But we had a good time seeing these new things.

Thursday, November 13: Still no news about the next SDA appointment and still recuperating from yesterday's marathon walk.

A few more observations/experiences:

Weather is still tolerable...it is not that cold during the daytime while we are out walking...it is in the upper 30s mostly and has not been too windy
We see very few people in glasses and even fewer in sunglasses...the ones that have glasses have very thick ones
We must not look like Americans to everybody because we have been asked something (directions?) from about 6-7 people already when we were walking on the street.
Very few people smile over here...they only smile at close friends/family...they don't smile when just passing by someone on the street... it was weird at first but we just laugh! They do not make much eye contact..they just cut their eyes over or down at us or anyone, really.
They cut right in front of each other in lines, like at supermarkets...if there is a little space between people (what we consider the appropriate space between people) they just get right in the line right there...we are learning how to do the same although it is awkward.
We have to be back at the apartment by 4:30 because it is dark between 4;30 and 5:00. That makes for a long, long evening, but we are doing better at figuring out what to do other than eat!!
American foods we have seen: Lay's potato chips, M&Ms, Snickers, Nescafe Gold Instant Coffee, Wrigley's chewing gum, Nestle products (Nestle makes Honey Nut Cheerios over here), Coca-cola, Kleenex, and a few others.
Like buying the t.paper, we have to do hand motions to purchase ham at the deli. But, we have been able to communicate and get what we want, even getting it sliced.
We love the olive bread at the bakery!! Todd said he isn't sure if man can live on bread alone but a little olive bread sure does help.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

2008-11-11T06:30:00.003-05:00

No news yet on our appointment date. Keep praying that it will be soon.

Interesting things that we have observed/experienced while here...we have just been too preoccupied to share these things:

The ladies are very fashion-able! Lots of red...red coats, really red hair...Very high-heeled boots, short skirts, very tight pants (jeans)...fur coats, collars, hats
Cars are parked on the sidewalk and there are some that drive on the sidewalk...we have to watch out!
The pedestrian crosswalk has a little sign that counts down the time you have to walk across the street...good thing because the cars do not stop or if they do, they come right up next to pedestrians and stop
There are some underground crosswalks that we have used. Inside these crosswalks are vendors with all kinds of things to sell: clothes, toys, pocketbooks, bras, and just about anything you want!! Not that we have bought anything there, yet, though!
We have been able to watch a few American movies on TV: Clint Eastwood, Robin Williams in Peter Pan, The Mummy...all had a Ukrainian voice over so we just watched with the volume down
We did get to watch the BBC in Kharkiv but cannot get that station here in Kiev on her tv
We got to see the election results on the BBC...many of the people over here talked about the US election and its results
We are learning a few Ukrainian words, like: restaurant, bar, cafe, internet, supermarket, bank, notary, WC (water closet...which is usually unisex bathrooms and most are clean)...Well, Todd is really not up on these words yet but he is getting there! :)
Speaking of WC, we had to pay 1/2 of a greevna (their $...no idea how to spell it) to use the bathroom in Target and we got about 3 squares of toilet paper for that! We usually carry our own T.P. ourselves!
We have ventured out a little further each day. Alla had told us where the US Embassy was and it was down a couple of streets and we found it! We thought the Embassy was right next door to us but that is the US Consulate.
At Todd's request, we made spaghetti on Monday night for supper. It was good and one of the few hot meals we have had.
There is no fear of cigarette companies going broke over here...everybody smokes...thinking about taking up the habit, along with the vodka! Just kidding!
For groceries, we pay 131.00...greevnas, actually. That is about $25, maybe, and we get a lot of food.

We will tell more tomorrow. We have a list going now of these different things that we are experiencing. Hope everyone is doing well. We are doing a lot of Sudoku, reading, sleeping, crying and eating!!!

Monday, November 10, 2008

2008-11-10T08:04:00.004-05:00

On Sunday, we walked around Kiev and saw some very pretty sites...beautiful churches, open markets, looked out across a valley, and saw a Ukrainian celebration going on in the main square with costumes, dancers, games, music. It was very fun and pretty. We ate at our favorite cafe also.

Monday: The petition for our next appointment with the SDA was submitted today. We don't know when the next appointment is...probably won't know for a few days. Not a lot to tell right now...but we are safe and doing fine. We found a delicious bakery near our apartment. Probably shouldn't have found it but it is soooo good. Today we are at the public library using the Internet. Dima showed us how to get here and use it. However, we read that we will have to reserve it a day ahead of time...so we probably will go back to using the Internet at the PO down the street because we don't have to do anything there but say "Internet." Please pray that our appointment is soooooon!!!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

2008-11-08T08:19:00.002-05:00

We had a very hard decision to make yesterday. We have decided not to adopt the little boy that we were looking at last week. We gave it five days with around 9x to observe and play with him. However, there were certain conditions that have led us to make that decision. It was very hard, we all had tears (except him), but we are going to be ok and we feel that we did make the right decision. Alla, our translator, will petition the SDA on Monday for a new appointment. We don't know yet when that will be. She will find that out on Monday.

So, we took a night train ride back on Friday night to Kiev, and we are currently in the apartment we stayed in last time. We are very happy about that. We even went to the grocery store all by ourselves and purchased some food without our translator! It is definitely colder. When we got off train this morning at 6:30, it was -7.....Celcius, that is! And we still do not have heat in the apartment. Surprisingly, it is really comfortable in the apartment and we just wear our long underwear, gloves, earmuffs, etc., outside, and it is fine.We will blog on Monday if we find out about our new appointment. Please pray that it is soon.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

2008-11-06T12:58:00.002-05:00

We know everyone is eager to hear about what is going on. We are still looking at a little boy that "is complex," as our translator says! We are not really ready to share too much information because we have not made a commitment yet. We just have to continue to pray about his situation and if we can handle him. Please pray for him whether we take him or not. He needs it. We are able to visit him 2x a day. Most of the time it is with other (Italian) families that are trying to adopt. That makes it difficult because it is like chaos in there. Wed and Thurs we got there later and almost didn't get to see him but Alla charmed them into letting us see him and we got to see him with just us, Alla, and the caretakers. Much better that way. Again, keep praying that we will know what to do and for him.

The orphanage is not that bad, considering. It is very clean and the director is very nice. Most of the caretakers are nice. One got on to Alla about Tammy standing on the children's rug with shoes on. Alla did not like being told that! Tammy didn't know they were talking about her! :)

Other things: 285 is a peaceful drive compared to the driving around here....however, we are not really even nervous about it anymore....a new apartment now as of Monday, November 3 that is very modern but very little hot water...Jackie and Todd and Alla say NO hot water to them....today it sleeted for a few minutes...today was the coldest day so far...most have not been too bad.

We have eaten a few interesting things: turkey candy (actually, candy from Turkey that is like gummy bears with powdered sugar on top ~ yummy); Armenian bread which is like a tortilla but better; huge meringue dessert with cream inside; pizza...yes, pizza places all over and are good; McDonald's 1x; and Lay's potato chips!!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

2008-11-01T10:37:00.002-04:00

Today, Alla's son, Dima, took us on a tour of some different churches in Kiev. There were about 7 churches in this same area. We went down into two "caves" which had many tombs of their priests or saints. Very close quarters!! We all had to carry a candle. Tammy and Jackie had to buy a scarf...something was said to Dima about us not having our heads covered inside the first church. There were many beautiful paintings all in the churches. One was being remodeled, and Dima got us in the back way via his guard friend and we saw where the scaffolding, etc., was for the restoration. There was an expediting fee for this ~ ha! ha! We had to walk a long way and had to climb many stairs. There was a beautiful rose garden and other similar flowers still blooming, as well as other plants (forsythia, dahlias, hydrangeas, salvia, marigolds, etc!) We were tired after the tour...except Todd! We rode the bus around town with Dima, as well. The drivers must have been former kamikhazi pilots...we were going through the tightest places without hitting anyone. We ate at the McDonald's down the street.

We leave on Sunday evening around 10:30 Ukrainian time to go to the orphanage in Kharkiv. We will travel on the slow train...should be interesting...sleeping should be interesting, too. We will arrive in Kharkiv around 10:00 on Monday morning. Alla will lead the way so we will see if we go to the orphanage first or the apartment first. Can't wait to tell you about Alla. She is a character.

Friday, October 31, 2008

2008-10-31T10:46:00.002-04:00

Friday, October 31

Walked around a few streets today. Saw Independence Square. Todd and Tammy walked through there yesterday with Alla. Saw several very large, beautiful churches and statues. Went to the same coffee shop that Todd and Tammy went to yesterday with Alla and Valentina. We ordered 2 diet cokes and a sprite all by ourselves! Fortunately the waitress spoke English. Yesterday Todd had an Americano coffee that was very strong but considered very mild by Ukrainians. He has been up ever since! Just kidding. Chet would be in heaven! Gotta go. PO is closing and it is getting a bit dark.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

2008-10-30T09:47:00.002-04:00

Went to our appointment today at 10:00. Saw about 10 profiles of children. We have decided on one little boy that we will look at. He is about 3 1/2 years old. We will leave on Sunday night on a ten hour train to his orphanage (area). There is internet at the city we will be going to, so we will be able to write some on the blog.

We haven't made a decision completely based on the information we got today, so don't start buying up things yet. This is a very, very hard decision based on the information from the National Adoption Center. So, just keep praying that if this is the one that we will know it. We are trying to just be open minded and wait to see when we see him on Monday. One thing we can say is that every day has been very interesting!!!!

We met Alla, our current translator, and Valentina, our facilitator, today. Both are very take charge ladies, but that is good because we are useless!! Again, don't get too excited, yet, as we really are not sure about a decision until we see him on Monday.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

2008-10-29T06:33:00.002-04:00

We made it!!!
The flights were fine and with no problems except that Tammy's mom got busted for peanut butter!!
We are in an apartment that is older but nice and clean. It belongs to a lady whose husband was a professor.
We met Olga, a translator, and Sasha, our driver, and Dima, a college student that is the son of our new translator, Alla. We will meet Alla Thursday before our appointment. Our appointment is at 10:00 on Thursday.
We are writing this from the P.O. which is just right down the street. They have 5 terminals to rent.

Yesterday when we got here, Olga and Sasha took us by the grocery store. One lady told Todd to move out of the aisle with his buggy by waving her hands at him. She actually worked at the store and was coming over to help us. The store cashier was not too thrilled with American customers. Todd and Tammy tried to put two large bottles of water on the counter and she waved us off bruskly. Their style of communication is a bit different from the southern part of the U.S.!!

We were very tired when we got here, and have slept quite a while. Tuesday was not that cold. Today is not too cold either, just a little windy and cool. This is definitely a different place!! We will tell more later! We miss everyone. Thanks for the birthday cards that some of you sent. That was a surprise! Also, thanks Michelle for the card you sent. Tammy has already needed it! :) Olga told us that we will probably be in Kiev until Sunday or Monday. We will have access to the internet while here in Kiev but not sure about when we go to the orphanage. We are leaving now to go look for the Mall and McDonald's. HA!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

2008-10-22T21:32:00.004-04:00

Finished getting our vaccinations today...Hep AB, polio booster, Tdap (Todd)...also a flu shot. Last month we got the first part of the Hep AB, typhoid, and Tdap (Tammy)...that's been fun.

Many co-workers from (Tammy's) work put on a bon voyage dinner at Longhorn's. We had a great time....two wonderful prayers followed by Denise. That explains the rest of the atmosphere for the night! :) Thank you to all that were able to attend. Thank you for the thoughtful cards, words, etc.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

2008-10-19T22:29:00.003-04:00

Special prayer today at our church by our Pastor, Mark Spence, for our trip to Ukraine and for our upcoming adoption. Thank you to Mark and the church for the special prayer and support.

On Friday afternoon, we took Jack and Jill to Sandersville to stay with Todd's parents while we go to Ukraine. We miss those little munchkins already!! Hope they are behaving! :)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

2008-10-18T19:25:00.003-04:00

9 DAYS UNTIL WE LEAVE...

We are finally registered at Target, Babies R Us, and Toys R Us.

Saturday evening: Special dinner by Todd's sister, Lynn, at her house. Todd's family attended and it was delicious!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

2008-10-12T15:11:00.002-04:00

Where has the time gone?! We leave in 15 days....tomorrow will be two weeks.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

2008-10-08T21:11:00.004-04:00

We met with a recommended Gainesville pediatrician who has traveled to Ukraine on mission trips and has traveled to some orphanages there. He gave us some good ideas and advice.

(We are a little late in getting this entry posted...sorry!)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

2008-09-28T14:33:00.025-04:00

So many of you have shared your excitement with us about our upcoming adoption, and have generously asked what you can do to help. We have prayed immensely and continue to pray about doing this type of an adoption. Until now, we didn't have a set date to travel, and we did not feel ready to share with everyone that we will take donations before we leave. Warning: This entry does discuss donations ($) as support.:):) But the support we really seek is in your time, generosity, & kind words/advice in our effort to do this.

It has been difficult for us to decide how to say it, but donations ($) are definitely being accepted for the Dudley Adoption to help with the expenses of getting the child(ren) over here!! :):) The trip and the service fees are the things that are going to get the child(ren) over here. No trip/documents...No child(ren)! Please remember: We are NOT writing this in expectation of a donation...some people have just asked about this area of the adoption, and this is a more efficient way of communicating it instead of repeating so many times.

Below is a brief sample of the estimated expenses from a couple's trip to adopt in Ukraine within the last year. Of course, this is not everything, but it includes........

travel: air fare going, 2 adults; coming back, 2 adults & 1-2 children
trains/vehicles while traveling to orphanage in Ukraine
accommodations...some of you know how long we will stay...we just don't want the time frame listed on the internet yet
gifts for people involved with the adoption (there will be about 15 - 20 gifts to give out...from National Adoption Center director to driver to notaries to...) It is expected for adoptive parents to give gifts in this culture to all of the people that help with the adoption. We would prefer to purchase gifts in Ukraine because 1) it is cheaper, and 2) we will have less to carry in our luggage; therefore, we would prefer not to take gifts but take the $$ to purchase the gifts when we're there. Plus, gifts we want to give to the orphanage itself, as well as to the children at the orphanage. We have read that they need things from heaters to clothes to toys to ???
Paperwork fees, including expedited fees... As if the paperwork that about sent me over the edge that was done here is not enough...the following are some of the documents that will be gathered over there...facilitator's fees, translator's fees, court fees, judge's fee, regional director's fee, notaries' fees, visa(s) for child(ren), court decree of adoption, birth certificate(s) rewritten and recertified to show that we are now the parents, petition to get passport(s) plus the actual passport(s), orphanage papers, medicals/physicals for child(ren), and on it goes...their system is meticulous & redundant. The paperwork we did here was just to get us over there...while over there, there will be basically the same amount of paperwork done via Olga &Valentina (thank goodness!!)...but with each, there is a fee.

You can imagine and understand that people would give up with this facing them. And, at times, we have almost considered that. We recognize that we, not y'all, have made this decision to adopt internationally. We have been provided this opportunity to help 1-2 children who are in an orphanage, and that is the part that keeps us moving forward. Our FAITH in having a child is keeping us going because if we went by what the "world" is telling us, or some of the skeptical, negative (albeit well-intentioned we're sure) comments/connotations we have heard, we would've quit by now!! Our goal is to have a family and sometimes these hurdles are just things you have to get over.

I can't tell you how many people have a huge grin on their face when they see us. That is encouraging and supportive because we know that you value what we are doing, and your supportive smile and kind words seem to communicate that you believe in us doing this. We appreciate the support of the many people that do want to see us adopt, no matter what route we are taking.

Thank you to those that have already contributed to our adoption in some kind of way (time, gifts, $, emotional support, etc.), and have generously said to use the $ however we need to with the expenses. Thanks for your trust.

Over the last several years, through God's help, we have continued to overcome these frustrating hurdles that seem to be in the way of us having/parenting a child(ren.) Or, maybe we just like banging our heads against a wall. Thanks for your understanding and your time in reading this.

1 month to go ~ September 27, 2008

2008-09-27T21:23:00.002-04:00

We found out on our anniversary, September 14, that we have an appointment at the NAC in Kiev. One month until we leave! We are working on getting things together before we leave. There are a lot of things to do.

To help with funds, we have already had 3 yardsales (July, August, September) and an Avon sale. The $$ from these fundraisers will provide for about 1/10 of the cost. Yeah! Any amount helps out!!

Did you know......that over 50% of the girls in Ukraine/Russia turn to prostitution when they are sent out of the orphanage around the age of 16 or 17? They have no family support/skills to rely upon when leaving the orphanage.

Did you know.......that over 50% of the boys in Ukraine/Russia turn to crime and suicide when they are sent out of the orphanage around the age of 16 or 17? They have no family support/skills to rely upon when leaving the orphanage.